


First Move

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 09:22:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/796573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another cop makes a move on Blair and Jim is forced to admit his true feelings for his partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Move

## First Move

by Grey

Author's website:  <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

This story first appeared in WHISPERS OF THE HEART 9 which can be ordered at http://www.lionheartdistribution.com  
Thanks to Bast and XFreak for their support.

Rated R for language.

* * *

First Move  
by Grey 

Jim glanced over as Blair held the ice pack to his damaged face. "You doing okay there, Chief?" 

"I'm fine, man. Just a little headache." 

"Getting clobbered will do that." 

"At least I didn't need stitches." 

"Or a casket." 

"Very funny." 

"I'm not joking." Jim clenched his jaw, his hands holding the steering wheel tighter than he needed to. Images of his partner crumpling under the sucker punch of their latest suspect still made him a little bit crazy. His throat tightened, the words dry on his tongue. "You could've been killed." 

"So could you." 

"But I'm a cop. It's part of the job." 

"And I'm your partner." 

"We've had this conversation before. You should've stayed out of it." 

Blair sighed and dropped the ice to his lap as he gently massaged the swollen and bruised spot on his cheek. "Michaels was right behind me. He took care of Anderson." 

"Anderson had a gun." 

"So did Michaels. I wouldn't have gone in without backup. I've learned that much." 

Jim shook his head, still frustrated and angry. "He didn't have to bring you in like that. You could've waited outside." 

"We saw those guys sneaking around the back. He told you that already." 

"That's not the point." 

"Then what is the point?" 

"You didn't need to come in. He put you at risk." 

"That's bullshit and you know it." 

Taking a deep breath, Jim kept quiet for a few moments. He didn't want to argue. "At least Anderson's behind bars..." 

"For about ten minutes until his lawyer springs him." 

"And we don't have to work with that prick Michaels anymore." 

Blair shifted in his seat and stared at Jim. "Dean's not a bad guy. Why can't you two get along?" 

"Because he thinks he doesn't have to follow the rules like everyone else." 

"He's a good cop, though." 

"He's got instinct, I'll give him that, but I wouldn't want him to cover my ass anytime soon." 

"You don't think you could trust him to come through?" 

"I don't trust him, period." 

"Why's that?" 

"Just a feeling." 

"Based on what?" 

Jim looked at Blair and shrugged. "Experience. I've worked with cops like him before. It's hard to explain." 

"I don't get it. I mean, I was there, too, man, and he seemed to have it pretty much together cop-wise." 

"Maybe you were just fooled by a pretty face." 

Jarred by the words, Blair snapped, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing." 

"Like hell. Tell me what you meant." 

"I just meant you two were awfully chummy." 

"We were stuck on a godawful stake out while you were busy reeling Anderson in. We talked. So what?" 

"I'm just saying." 

"You're just saying shit." 

Both men fumed for a few minutes until Jim parked the truck. Before Blair unlatched the door, Jim turned and put his arm across the back of the seat. "Look, Sandburg, I just think you should know that there are rumors about Michaels." 

"Rumors?" 

"Yeah, rumors." 

"Since when do you give a shit about rumors, Jim? I mean, if you listened to rumors, you'd know that we're boffing like bunnies." 

Flushing a dark red, Jim cleared his throat. "Wright say something again?" 

"Wright is always running his mouth. He's an asshole. The point is, I don't give a shit about rumors. Besides, I already know Dean's gay." 

Surprised, Jim studied his partner. "Since when?" 

"Like I said, those stake outs were pretty damn long. Eventually things took a turn to the personal. Besides, it's pretty much common knowledge." 

"Apparently." 

"So, what's the problem?" 

"It's not about his being gay." 

"What's it about then?" 

"He sleeps around." 

Blair grinned and shook his head. "To hear people tell it, so do I. You and I both know that's a laugh. Hell, I haven't had a real date in the last month. I mean, who the fuck has time? So, if Dean can manage, more power to him." 

"I just thought you should know." 

"Why?" 

"Why what?" 

"Why do I need to know if Dean sleeps around? What's it to me?" 

Jim took a deep breath and then wiped his face with one hand. "Forget it. Let's go in and get something to eat." 

"Fine by me. I'm starved." 

Blair opened the door and got out, Jim following only a few steps behind. Once inside the lobby, they waited for the elevator in silence. Covertly, Jim studied the man beside him. He wondered like hell if he should tell him the real reason he disliked Dean Michaels, wondered if his partner would understand the anxious grab at his chest every time he saw the other man's hungry face as he watched Blair just like he did. Jim remained quiet, the pressure inside him growing like a prayer after heartbreak. 

* * *

"Hey, Sandburg. Jim's got you typing up his reports? How's that work? He pay you extra if you use big words?" 

Blair looked up from the computer screen and took off his reading glasses. He smiled at the handsome face staring down at him. Dean Michaels stood 6'2", but his lean, athletic body made him look even taller, more powerful. The cocky Vice cop chewed gum while he waited for an answer, his cheekbones high and his dark brown eyes bright and flashing with humor. 

"Hey, Dean. I thought you were in court with Jim." 

"Did my thing and booked. Jim's the lead on the case, so I figure he'll be there awhile." 

"He hates that part of the job." 

"Me, too." Dean picked up one of the folders from the desk. He leafed through it as he talked. "So, you hungry?" 

"Hungry?" 

"For lunch. I thought we could try out that new Italian place over off Dixon." 

Blair checked the clock and nodded. "Sure, I could eat, but let's go to Benetti's around the corner instead. It'll be quicker. I want to finish these reports before Jim gets back." 

"Sure, man, whatever." Dean grabbed Blair's black leather coat from the rack and handed it to him. 

"Wait here. I'll let Simon know where I'm going." 

"Why?" 

"Why what?" 

"Why tell Banks? It's not like you're on the clock." 

Slightly embarrassed, Blair shrugged as he slipped on his jacket. "It's a courtesy." 

"Yeah, sure, okay. Go ahead." 

Blair knocked and opened Simon's door. "Hey, I'm heading out to lunch. Want anything?" 

"Peace on earth, goodwill towards men?" 

"I'll see if it's on the menu." 

Simon sat back and put his cigar in the ashtray. "Is Jim through with court already?" 

"No, why?" 

"You don't usually go to lunch alone." 

"I'm not." 

"Really? Conner going, too?" 

Blair cleared his throat. "I'm going with Detective Michaels." He ignored the surprised expression and asked again, "So, we're going to Benetti's. You want one of the specials?" 

"Thanks, but I'll just order up a sandwich from downstairs." Simon hesitated, looking a touch confused. "You and Michaels?" 

"It's just lunch, Simon." 

"Does Jim know?" 

"He's in court. Like I said, it's just lunch." 

"Yeah, yeah, just lunch. Got it. Well, have a good time." The words sounded authentic, but Simon frowned, his face twisted as he puzzled over the situation. 

Blair shut the door and turned to his new friend. "Come on, man." 

Dean walked slightly behind him, his hand resting at the small of his back as they moved through the door. Blair sighed and shook his head as he pushed the down button for the elevator. "Maybe we should make a few rules." 

"About what?" 

"If you're going to ask me out, you're going to have to do it outside surveillance." 

Dean laughed lightly, noting all the curious glances tossed in their direction. "I can do that." 

"I thought you could." 

* * *

Blair wiped his mouth with the napkin and then sat back, relaxed and admiring the view. Dean's dark skin appealed to him, reminded him of Sweet Roy Williams, all smooth and rich like warm milk chocolate. His cock twitched with pleasant memories of Roy's dark flesh rubbing against his, but he distracted himself with conversation. "They've got the best Caesar's salads here. They're cheap, too. I like that in a place." 

"Yeah, they're not bad. I like the pasta better." 

"I see that." Blair scanned the scanty remains of a huge portion of lasagna. "Big appetites usually reflect passion." 

"Or gluttony." Dean grinned. "What can I say? I like to eat. Mama always says I'm too hedonistic for my own good." 

"My mom would say there's no such thing." 

"Naomi, right?" 

"Yeah, Naomi." Blair smiled at the mention of his carefree mother, a woman he both loved and admired. "You remember." 

"From what you've told me, she's quite a character. I'd love to meet her some day." Dean hesitated and played with the remains of his entree. "What's Jim think about her?" 

"He thinks she's flaky." 

"He would." When Blair frowned and didn't respond right away, Dean added, "I just mean he's a little uptight, that's all." 

"He's a great cop." 

"True, even if he's not what I expected." 

"How's that?" 

Dean sat up straighter as he considered his words carefully. "He's got this really big rep in Vice, some kind of real hot shot. I checked out his cases. He was the best when it came to undercover and being tough. Nothing got past him." 

"That hasn't changed. There's a reason he was cop of the year." 

"True. I'm not saying that. It's just..." 

"Just what?" 

Dean shrugged and avoided Blair's eyes. "He's bossy as hell." 

"He likes to be in charge." 

"No kidding. It's not just that though." 

"Then what?" 

"I don't think he likes me." 

Blair leaned in, his voice softer. "He just hard to get to know, that's all." 

"You seem to know him pretty well." 

"Well, yeah. We're partners. We've worked and lived together for close to three years now. He's my best friend. I told you that." 

Frowning, Dean took a sip of his beer and then met Blair's gaze. "Seeing you two together, man, I got the impression that it's more than that." 

"If you're asking if we sleep together, we don't." 

"I didn't ask that." 

"But you wanted to." 

"I just want to make sure I'm not going to sound like a fool when I ask you out to dinner tonight." 

Blair tilted his head, pleased. "I'd like that. The case is over and like I told Jim, I haven't had a date in over a month." 

"A month? Jesus, that's rough. A man has needs." 

"It's outrageous what police work will do to a guy's social life." 

Smiling, Dean lifted his glass in agreement. "Tell me about it. Seven okay?" 

"Sure. Where do you want to meet?" 

"I'll pick you up. I thought we could go to Frank's and then maybe go to a club. There's a place I like over off Chelsea." 

Blair pushed back his hair and shook his head. "I'd rather meet you at Frank's." 

"Too many questions otherwise?" 

Blair bit his lip as he played with the fork by his plate. "Look, I haven't really dated a guy since I've been living with Jim. We've never really talked about it." 

"He has to know." 

"Why? Because you do?" 

"Well, yeah." Dean smiled and teased him. "He's an ex-Vice cop, Blair. No way he could miss that you swing both ways. You're an equal opportunity flirt." 

"I am not." 

"Afraid so. Diversity's your deal, man." 

Blair chuckled, not feeling the least bit guilty about the appraisal. "I guess I can't lie to a cop, huh?" 

"Wouldn't do much good." 

"Is that why you asked me out, because you think I flirted?" 

"No. You were a total gentlemen." Dean's voice lowered, a bit husky and rough. "You're just sexy as hell, that's all." 

"That's all, huh?" 

"For now." 

* * *

Jim knocked on Simon's door and then opened it to lean in. "You seen Sandburg?" 

"Jim? I thought you were still in court." 

"Judge called an unscheduled recess. I thought I'd pick up Blair and get a bite to eat before I have to go back." 

Uneasy, Simon didn't look up and kept his eyes on the reports. "He's not here." 

"He's supposed to be finishing up some files." 

"Well, he was here, but he's not now." 

Simon's vitals shifted into high gear, his heartbeat and breathing kicked up several notches beyond normal. The older man refused to meet his eyes. "You okay?" 

"I'm fine. Why?" 

Jim came inside the office and shut the door, frowning and studying his friend. "What's going on? You're acting weird." 

"Look, I don't want to say anything." 

"About what?" 

"About anything. God." Annoyed, Simon shook his head and closed the folder. "It's probably nothing." 

Clueless, Jim sat on the edge of the table. "What's probably nothing?" 

"He didn't expect you back, that's all." 

Jim took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "You're losing me here, Simon." 

Wetting his bottom lip, Simon stood up and picked up a mug. "Want some coffee?" 

"Sure." 

Patiently, Jim waited while Simon poured and served them both drinks. The captain took several sips before he finally cleared his throat. "I don't think it's anything to worry about." 

"I swear to god, you're making me crazy here." 

"That's what I'm afraid of." 

"Just tell me." 

"Blair went to lunch with Michaels." 

Jim let a few seconds go by, his expression unchanged, even though his heart did a double beat. "So?" 

"So? That's all you've got to say? So?" 

"What should I say?" 

Tilting his head, amazed by the response, Simon put a hand on Jim's shoulder. "I don't get it." 

"Get what?" 

"What's going on? I mean, are Blair and this guy dating?" 

"Jesus, Simon. It's just lunch. We worked together and Blair likes him. Don't ask me why. He's an arrogant prick." The last line came out more harshly than he intended and he avoided meeting his friend's sympathetic gaze. No way did he want to discuss his feelings with his captain, not when he couldn't even face them himself. Instead, he stood up and stepped to the door. "Guess I'll grab a sandwich and head back then. Tell Blair I should be back around four." 

"Jim, wait." 

Pausing, he rested his hand on the door knob. "What?" 

"It's just lunch." 

"That's what I said." 

"Right. Then we're clear here. Just lunch. It's not like a dinner and dancing type of thing, right?" 

"Right." 

"And even if it was, it's not like the kid's going to do anything stupid and get mixed up with this guy. Sandburg's smarter than that." 

Jim turned, his body even more tense. "Is there something I should know about Michaels?" 

"Only what I've heard." 

"Which is?" 

Nervous, Simon tapped the ash from his smoldering cigar. "I mean, I know we can't always go by rumors, but he's got a bad rep." 

"So what? He sleeps around. It's not our business." 

"It doesn't bother you that he might be out just to nail Blair and then move on?" 

"What kind of question is that?" 

"A fair one. It bothers me and Blair's not even my partner. I can't imagine it wouldn't get your goat, too." 

Jim sighed and stepped to the window, his arms crossed, his mind pushing away all the images of Blair and sex and things he didn't want to think about. He cleared his throat, the words hard to handle. "I can't say it doesn't bother me. It does, but not for the reason you think." 

"Depends on what you think I think." 

Turning, Jim studied his friend for a moment. "What do you think?" 

"I think if Blair's inclined in that direction, why the hell haven't you asked him out yourself?" 

Taken back by the question, Jim shook his head. "What?" 

"You heard me. Do you have any idea how jarring it is to consider Sandburg with someone besides you?" 

"He's been with lots of people besides me." 

"Yeah, women, but not men, Jim. If he swings that way, and by the way he waltzed out of here with Michaels, it appears that he does, then you'd better wake up and smell the damn coffee." 

"What are you saying? You think I should make a play for Sandburg?" 

"Well, Michaels is making a move, so yeah, I think a play is in order. Otherwise, you might end up with a situation that you really don't want to deal with." 

"Which is?" 

"Seeing your partner with a jerk when he should be with you." 

"You think he's a jerk, too, huh?" 

Simon rubbed the back of his head in exasperation. "You're kind of missing the point here, Jim." 

Standing very still, Jim met concerned brown eyes and swallowed hard. "No, Simon, I'm not missing the point." 

"You're just avoiding it like crazy, huh?" 

"Wouldn't you?" 

Chuckling, Simon sat down, shaking his head in amusement. "You better believe it." The smile vanished as Simon put his cigar down and fisted his hands together on the desk. "But we're not talking about me here. You and Blair have been together for three years. It's pretty obvious that there's something between you beyond just working together. I can't tell you how it confused me no end to see him show an interest in someone else for a change. It was like watching my ex cheat all over again." 

"He's not cheating if we're not together." 

"Then fix that." 

"I don't know if I can, Simon." The words came out small, uncertain. Jim turned away, keeping his back to his friend. "If Blair were interested, he would've said something before now." 

"Why? You haven't." 

"But he's not me. He says what's on his mind." 

"You think so?" 

Turning back around, Jim frowned in confusion. "Are you saying you think he wouldn't?" 

"I'm saying I think you need to ask." Simon paused. "Before it's too late, Jim." 

Wiping his face with one hand, Jim sighed. "I don't know if I can." 

"Why not?" 

"What if he says no?" 

Simon scoffed. "You really think he'd say no?" 

"He might." 

The captain's voice softened slightly. "Or maybe you're more afraid of him saying yes." 

Jim's throat tightened. "That's a theory." 

"A good one." 

"Maybe." 

"Jim, I've known you a long time, so I'm not saying this lightly. I know you have issues." 

"Don't start, Simon." 

"I'm just saying what needs to be said. You can't go through life pretending you don't need other people." 

"I don't do that." 

"Sure you do and I understand it. I do. You've been hurt a lot in your life. It's just that you've been getting better and I think we both know why that is. I just don't want to see someone like Michaels come along and screw that up." 

"It's not my place to fuck with Blair's love life." 

"You should be his love life, Jim." 

Unsettled by the frank discussion, Jim slumped down at the table. Unable to meet his captain's gaze, he spoke quietly. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, Simon." 

"Nobody's ever ready for love. It's like a damn sledge hammer. It comes when it comes." 

"You know what I'm saying here. This wouldn't be like going out with Conner." 

"Hell, no. It'd be like going out with Sandburg. The whole world would be on your ass. I know that. But wouldn't it be worth it? I mean, let's face it, Jim. Do you really want to keep on like you are, always wondering what the hell you're missing?" 

Still unconvinced, Jim sat back and shook his head. "He deserves to be happy." 

"So do you. Can you tell me that you're happy the way things are?" 

"I didn't plan on this." 

"Plans are overrated." 

Jim didn't say anything. Instead, he stood up and walked to the door, his hand on the knob before he finally cleared his throat. "I appreciate your concern. I just have to do this my way." 

"Sure, Jim. Do that. Just try not to let your way bite you in the damn ass." 

Nodding, Jim opened the door and headed out through the bullpen, thankful that no one stopped to chat or say hi as he passed by. Still, mulling over his captain's words, he stood up straighter as he heard his partner's laugh coming from inside the elevator. Not ready for a confrontation, he took off down the stairs, his mind reeling from the possibility of finally confessing his true feelings, big, hairy feelings that scared the hell out of him. 

* * *

"That was rude, Simon." 

"So sue me." 

Blair scowled and pushed back his hair as he stood in the middle of Simon's office. "What is it with you and Jim when it comes to Michaels?" 

Simon glanced up and sat back, suddenly defensive. "All I said was we have work to do around here and maybe he should get his ass back down to Vice where he belongs." 

"Admit it. You don't like him." 

"I admit nothing." Simon paused and pursed his lips, his tone even more edgy. "So, did you two have a nice lunch?" 

Tilting his head, Blair smiled. "Oh, I get it. This is because you think I should've said no, right? That he's encroaching on Jim's territory." 

Not amused, Simon leaned forward. "You're not a tree in the woods that Jim pissed on, Sandburg, but you are his partner. I'd think you of all people would remember that." 

"You're serious." 

"Of course, I'm serious." 

Blair frowned and sat down on the edge of the table. "You really think that I'm supposed to avoid social engagements because I ride with Jim?" 

"Depends on how you define riding." 

"How do you define it?" 

Simon closed his file and took a moment to freshen his coffee. "Look, it's not my business who you have social engagements with. I just think you should be more careful. Michaels is a cop, but he's a punk at heart. He doesn't suit you." 

"I take it we're not talking about work here." 

"You take it correctly. Do you really think Michaels is interested in you because of your astute observations of closed societies?" 

"No, I never thought that." 

Simon paused, gauging his words carefully. "And while we're at it, if you don't mind my asking, since when did you start dating men?" 

"Back in high school, actually." 

"You know you could've mentioned it." 

"Does it make a difference?" 

"Not to me, but it might to other people." 

"Like Jim?" 

"Yeah, like Jim." 

Blair stood up and stepped to the window, his arms wrapped around himself as he avoided thinking about his partner. "You don't think he knows?" 

"I'm sure he knows now. I'm sure every cop between here and the courthouse knows about it by now." 

"Because Michaels is gay and I have lunch with him, people automatically assume it was a date?" 

"Wasn't it?" 

"That's not the point." 

"I think it is. I think it's a damn shame, too." 

"Why's that?" 

"Because Michaels may be a good cop, but he's an asshole. You can do better." 

Blair shook his head and turned, suddenly angry. "You're out of line here, Simon. Who I see is none of your business." 

"You're right, it's not, but I just hate seeing you with the wrong person." 

"And you think you know who the right person is?" 

"And if you're honest with yourself for one second, you do, too." 

Blair closed his eyes, Jim's face strong in his mind. He kept his eyes shut as he spoke quietly. "What difference does it make? It'll never happen." 

"You don't know that." 

Blair met the concerned brown eyes watching him so keenly. "It's been three years. If anything were going to happen, it would've." His words choked. "If dying didn't make him want things to be different, what will?" 

Simon stood up and came around the desk, putting a comforting hand on Blair's shoulder. "You two need to talk. Almost losing you like that scared him shitless. He's afraid, Blair." 

"Who isn't? Jim's not exactly easy to deal with." 

"You're telling me? I've known him a lot longer than you have and I'm telling you to go home and talk this thing out. If nothing happens, then at least you'll know why. Then you can date this prick Michaels if you want, though, frankly, I don't want to hear about it." 

"You really think Jim's ready for something like this? I mean, we're not talking about just going for a test drive. I want more than that." 

"Well, you won't know unless you give it a shot and see what happens. Jim's more flexible than you think. He wouldn't have survived the shit that's he's been through if he weren't." 

"So you think I should confront him?" 

Simon snorted. "Why not start out simple? Ask the man out." 

"Ask him out?" 

"Yeah. See what he says." 

Blair scratched his head, his mind spinning with possibility. "It can't be that simple." 

"No, but it's a start." 

* * *

Uneasy, Blair walked into the Vice bullpen. He spotted Dean from across the room, the detective unhappily tapping the keys of his computer. Blair ignored the furtive glances and whispered comments as he stepped closer. "Hey." 

Looking up, Dean's scowl turned into a smile. "What's up?" 

"Is there some place we could talk in private?" 

"Shit. You're backing out." 

"We need to talk. Alone." 

Frowning again, Dean stood up and motioned down the hall to the interview room. Once inside, he shut the door and crossed his arms. "So?" 

Taking a deep breath, Blair measured his words carefully. "I like you, man, but I have to be honest. It wouldn't be fair to go out with you, not right now." 

"Let me guess. Ellison found out and got pissed." 

"No, Jim doesn't know about this. I just think it's a bad idea. I'm hung up on someone else." 

"Like that's not fucking obvious." 

Startled, Blair met his angry gaze. "What?" 

"I know you're hung up on Ellison, but the guy's cold, man." Dean shook his head, his face grim as he stepped forward and cupped Blair's face gently. He whispered, "Nothing sadder than falling for a straight guy. I know, man. I've been there. You can't win." 

Blair closed his eyes, the man's touch smooth heat against his cheek. "I can't help it, Dean. I love him." 

"I know." 

Swallowing hard, Blair stepped back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on, but this can't happen." 

Nodding, Dean sat down on the edge of the interview table. "Not as long as you live in a fucking dream world. Wake up, man. Ellison's never going to give you what you need. You want to go through life fucking everyone except the one person you want the most? That's seriously self-destructive, man." 

"He's the best friend I've ever had." 

"But you'll never get laid." 

"Intimacy is more than sex, man." 

"What planet are you from?" Dean stood up, his face strained. "Listen, you want to fool yourself into thinking he can come around, fine, but don't try to sell that shit to me. I've lived it." 

"I don't understand." 

"You don't think I've fallen for a straight butch fuck before? It happens. It just messes with your head, man. It's a fucking dream to think it'll work." 

"I'm willing to take that chance." 

"Then you might as well get the fuck out of here and go back to Ellison. Like your prick captain said, we've got work to do here." 

"Don't be pissed, Dean." 

"What do you expect, man, a fucking merit badge for being honest? Fuck you and fuck Ellison for being such an asshole that he can't see what he's got right in front of his damn face." 

Before Blair could say another word, Dean slammed open the door and left him alone. 

Blair sighed and shook his head. "Well, that sucked." He walked out of the room, his eyes avoiding the stares of blatant disapproval as he went straight to the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. He needed to get home and figure out what the hell to do to make Jim understand exactly what he wanted. No more excuses from either of them. He'd make the first move and hope that Jim didn't leave him gutted and wishing for another cold dip in the fountain. 

* * *

Jim walked into the loft, took off his jacket, and hung it up on the peg. He dropped the keys in the basket and then suddenly became aware of the shifted ambiance of the room. Candles flickered in the low light, soft jazz from his favorite CD played in the background, and the fireplace crackled. "Sandburg?" 

"Jim." Blair walked out of his room barefoot, his curly hair wild and fluffed. He dressed in tight jeans and a gauzy white top Jim had never seen before. Brown chest hair peeked at the edge of the V-neck, dark and inviting. "Long day?" 

Swallowing hard, Jim stared, his mouth slightly open. Unable to speak, he just stood there, not daring to move or believe the possibility just a few feet away. 

Blair stepped closer, his voice low and husky. "Glad you're home." 

"Yeah. Me, too." He took another deep breath and whispered, "What's going on, Chief?" 

"What do you think is going on, Jim?" 

"You tell me." 

Smiling, Blair palmed his chest, his hand resting over Jim's heart. "What do you want to go on?" 

Jim hesitated, the words not easy on his tongue. Doubt flickered in Blair's deep blue eyes. As he started to remove his hand, Jim captured it and held it in place. "Don't." 

"Don't what?" 

"Pull away." 

Relaxing, Blair smiled. "I won't, if you won't." 

"What is this, play for play?" 

"Something like that." Meeting Jim's uncertain gaze, Blair used his free hand to run a finger along Jim's face, first his cheek and then over his lips. Jim shuddered, his whole body praying for more. "I just figured it was time to make a move before one of us gets too old to appreciate it." 

Trying to keep his head clear, but failing, Jim drank in the tender strokes of Blair's fingers on his face. Eyes closed, he gripped Blair's hand even harder. "I've thought about you all day." 

"Yeah?" 

"About you and Michaels." 

"Jealous?" 

"God, yes." 

Blair laughed lightly and then tugged at his hand. "Let's sit down, man. We need to talk." 

Winded by the situation, Jim followed Blair to the sofa and sagged down, never releasing the hand grasped in his own. Once settled there, he reached out and cupped Blair's face, his thumb lightly fingering his bruised cheek. He wanted to kiss it, but held back. He needed to say the words dragging through his heart. "You scare me." 

"I know. I try not to." 

"I never planned on any of this, the senses, you, me, being together. It just isn't supposed to be like this." 

"Like what, Jim? We are what we are. I love you and I think you love me." 

"I do." 

Blair eased closer, his breathing quickened. "Jesus, I'm so glad you finally admitted it." 

"Me, too." 

Blair sighed and let his forehead rest on Jim's chest, his voice slightly muffled. "You're not the only one who gets scared, man." 

Running his fingers through the soft curls, Jim kissed the top of his partner's head. "You're braver than I am, Chief. I spent the whole fucking day trying to figure out what to say and you turn around and make the first move." 

"Somebody had to. It was getting ridiculous." Pulling back and sitting up, Blair searched his face. "I'm not interested in just fooling around, Jim. I'm serious here. I want this to work, for it to be the real thing." 

"Real thing?" 

"Yeah, the one and only, the brass ring, the Holy Grail of the heart." 

Jim chuckled, relieved. "Same here." 

"Really?" 

"Really." 

"Fuck." 

"Later. We need to talk first." 

Blair punched him in the belly playfully and then turned to lean against him, Jim's arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. "I've wanted this for so long, man." 

"Me, too." Jim squeezed him gently to emphasize his point. 

They remained quiet a few moments before Blair finally spoke. "This isn't about Dean, you know." 

"I know." 

"He was just the catalyst." 

"I know." 

"I mean, I kept waiting and hoping and then when you didn't say anything, even after the fountain, I just sort of figured it for a lost cause." 

Jim closed his eyes, flashing back to the awful day when Blair died, when he nearly lost everything. His words choked through. "I wasn't ready, Blair. I couldn't." 

"Not even after what we went through on the other side?" 

"Not even then. I'm sorry." 

"But you're ready now, right?" The words came out hushed, tentative and soft. 

"I think so, yeah." 

Blair kissed the forearm around his neck, his lips so warm and soft against the skin. "Thank god." His voice softened. "I've waited so long for this." 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For being patient." 

"I wasn't that patient. I still saw other people." 

"And so did I." Neither mentioned the names of all the women Jim used to keep a distance between them. "I just didn't want to admit that what I feel for you is more than friendship. Like I said, it scared the hell out of me." 

"Because I'm a guy?" 

"Partly." 

"Partly?" 

"Okay, mainly." Jim wet his lips, the confession difficult. "I didn't want to be in love with a man. I never did, not now and not in the past." 

Blair frowned and turned around to face him. "Wait a minute, Jim. You were in love with a man before me?" 

"I never said it out loud before, but yeah, there was someone else." Jim couldn't meet his eyes as he forced the name out. "Incacha." 

Blair reached out and touched his face gently as he repeated the name with reverence. "Incacha." 

"He saved my life." 

"He was also your shaman. He helped you with your senses when you were alone and grieving. What's not to love?" 

"But I couldn't tell him." Again, Jim took Blair's hand in his own. He turned his face and kissed the palm. "I don't want that to ever happen again. He died not knowing how I felt." 

Blair shook his head with a small smile. "He knew, Jim." 

"How could he?" 

"Because he loved you, too. I knew that the first time I saw you two together. I just didn't know how deep it was, though I should've guessed." 

"How could you guess something I couldn't even face up to myself?" 

Blair lifted Jim's chin, meeting his troubled eyes. "Jim, I know you're scared here, but it's okay. Honest. It's not the end of the world just because you figure out you're in love with a guy." 

Pain sharpened the words. "You don't understand." 

"You're afraid to be gay. I get that. I know it's not easy. Been there, done that back in the day." 

"With Williams?" 

Blair sat back, surprised. "You know about Roy?" 

"I figured, yeah." 

"Just like you figured Dean, huh?" 

"I saw the signs. You aren't exactly shy, Chief." 

Blair shook his head, amused, but not smiling. "But you didn't see the signs when I looked at you?" 

Flushing, Jim clenched his jaw, the memories of all the times he'd noticed too strong. "I didn't want to admit the possibility." 

"And now?" 

"Now it doesn't matter." 

"Doesn't matter?" 

"No. It's not something I can ignore anymore." Jim reached out and pulled Blair closer. "Not something I want to ignore." 

"Thank god for that." The words blew warm Blair-scented air against Jim's skin. 

Using both hands, Jim cupped Blair's face and held it steady. He captured the full lips against his own and then pushed his tongue deep into Blair's mouth. Slick heat and a moan welcomed him. Energy swelled between them as Jim's cock twitched and begged for attention. Pulling back, he stared into needy blue eyes. "How far do you want to take this, Chief?" 

"You have to ask?" 

"Yeah, I'm asking. Finally." 

"No limits, Jim." 

"We have to have limits." 

"Why?" 

"Because I could hurt you." 

"Not likely." 

"You're sure?" 

"Absolutely." 

And for the first time in his life, Jim knew what it meant to know exactly what the future held, peace and love and all the world they could share together, no limits to the love between them. 

The End 

* * *

End First Move by Grey: grey853@aol.com

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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